Down to the pits again… psychologically. It seems a pattern that I revisit this point every few months, following which a breakthrough comes along. This time round, however, it seems a little different. I have just had a breakthrough a few days ago, and now I am back in the pits, facing the despair of the truth; the stupid truth I continuously lament about but cannot find a solution to – Evil had won a long time ago.

In perpetuating this miserably insignificant existence, we cross the paths of other existences, only to find at the end of the day all stories conclude as one, and that beauty and filth meet at the end of the cycle. When I say the only occupation left is robbery, it is not so far from the truth, for all that exists has been owned, and for one person to be better off you inevitably plunge another person into shit.

While I admit to having juggernaut ambitions of power and wealth, I never once sought to hold on to these things, for one knows better than to cling on to that which is so fleeting. A previous small, now larger part of me simply longs to get this pursuit over and done with, and revert to the simple pleasures of life – family, friends and the great arts.

Fortunate or not, I have embarked on a path of no turning back. I truthfully am appreciative of where this path has led me, and quite honestly life had never been so comfortable and unpredictable at the same time. The lessons learnt will go a long way with me down the journey of life, even though somehow the inner me tells that the bonds of alliance are as good as cotton threads.

I have chosen the dirty, abyssal path to quick success and wealth, but a part of me wants to retain some good in what I am doing. As Scorpio-like as I may be, I realized over time I am actually less ruthless than perceived. I don’t really screw my enemy big time, and I forget being shortchanged almost instantly. Even amidst the political game of kings and pawns, I try my best to retain a human touch.

Everyone up there tells me to cast aside this face, and release the devil in me, so that I may stay on track. I sincerely hope I do not need to do so. What is the point of creating a monster when at the end of the day all it can do is destroy?