After all that has transpired, I have come to believe in the words of the wise, which I understood on the surface but only began to instinctively internalize in the recent months. “Life is about creating new experiences, and in each, we learn how to give and receive in a balanced way. Chase it too hard, and it will run away from you; too little, and it will never come close enough”.

The game of predator and prey has been played in fascinating scenarios, and replays itself over and over again, before our eyes, till we finally learn to perfect it and hold on to that one thing firmly. In most of my past relationships, I dived in head first, and gave so blindly I forgot to ask if the other party was already overfed. In past ventures and endeavours, I did pretty much the same, always playing by my own silly rules and expectations.

Recently, I had been blessed to be on the receiving end, not that it felt comfortable (for I have come into the habit of giving more than receiving). Nevertheless, it was a consolation to my then scarred soul, torn mercilessly by my own folly to trying to build a family before I even understood what it meant. To that person who came by and stayed for 13 days of my life, I can only give her my eternal gratitude, but not love, for love is something that requires the right dose of everything to start, and the right attitude and character to nurture.

To my new girlfriend, who courageously took on the choice to maintain a long-distance relationship with me, I promise my hearts conviction to make this work. Yes, we will never know who is right, and it is eventually really up to us to make it right. I believe so in every one of my relationships. I will not hold back in fear of pain, for it is the pain that makes us grow. I shall, however, be wiser with each lesson and learn to love in the correct fashion so that the other party enjoys both the love I provide, and the freedom when I withdraw occasionally.
As it is with my career now, I may not be able to offer much more than a whole heart. As much as the oracle says, I believe the future is still for one to forge personally. If at this point I were to choose between the random and cause-and-effect universe, I would choose the later, for at least it justifies the efforts.

To my family members, by dad and mum, grandmother and brothers, I have not been a very good brother, short of temper and lagging in achievements. A rebel since a young age, I was perhaps a bad example in both conventional and practical terms. I cannot offer much with my measly self now, and may only work hard to open a future brighter than the current one.

I have never believed in a single religion, and have taken pride in knowing a little of many. But here, I’d like to pray, to whoever is up there, and offer my greatest gratitude and thanks to the many great friends I have met here who have brightened my every day in this foreign land that would otherwise be an arena of ruthless cutthroat-ing.

I’d like to send my love to my family, girlfriend and friends back in Singapore, even though they may be 3.5 hours flight time away, and wish for their wellness and happiness, and that they find fulfillment with each step they take to discover themselves.

With this note, I end today, hoping, yet happy.