The dream has finally come to an end, in a rather abrupt fashion. Yesterday I woke up for the last time from my bed in Zhuhai, putting an end to the dreamy, homely life I have led for the past 3 months. Admittedly, it was a losing deal from the start (if I were to view it as a deal). Most of my friends objected to the arrangement, and even I know for sure I could get a better deal elsewhere. Nevertheless, I persisted.
Looking back at the past 3 months, it was probably the happiest time of my life. Other than a small misunderstanding while I was in Malaysia, there could not have been a sweeter experience. I have never wanted to spend my emotional life with a capable or lavishly attractive sort. A simple, homely life was that which I longed for, and got in full for the past 3 months.
If not for the recent quarrel, which finally made me realize the fact that this relationship would end up nowhere, I may just continue to drown myself in this mirage of paradise. As much as we may love each other, we live in a practical world where unconditional love is found only in stories and dramas. The concerns of reality and other equally important obligations have finally led to this.
I actually marvel at the fact that, for the first time in my life, I am actually more worried for the other party after the breakup. For starters, our income levels are worlds apart, and she would probably never attain my income standards in her entire life, neither would she even make anything close to the allowance I give her every month. To make things worse, she does not have a wide circle of friends, nor wise enough friends to give her advice and aid in such situations. Materially, my life would only get better, and hers would only get worse.
On my part, perhaps the only thing that would pain me is the endless memories we share. Unlike normal dating, we literally lived together for 3 months, eating, sleeping, going out, doing household chores, cooking, etc; everything a married couple would do. The memories we share continue to follow me wherever I go. My wardrobe still contains the clothes and scarf she bought / made for me. My PC still holds the albums of pictures we took, remnants of the memories we shared. It is as if we were forced apart by circumstance when everything was still good.
In any case, there would be no reason for me to see her again. I can only wish for her to find a better person in future, who could provide for her more than I could, and that she would find happiness in that.
To the wife whom I once held so close, take care of yourself and move on in life. My capability may not be enough to hold our love together, but this is not the end. You will find, if only you are willing to look beyond me, that life is still beautiful. Regardless of what others may say, you have been a great wife to me, and I may never find another like you. You will always stay in my heart as a part of me, till the day I die.
