Today, or should I add yesterday as well, has been so long. Running for 24 hours and going on. I think I’m becoming alcoholic, or perhaps it is just a convenient way to numb the impairing loneliness outside my more creative moments.

Had I not been reminded today, I wouldn’t have actually realized I am shouldering this much. The sudden realization couldn’t have served a worse purpose. I know for one it is not time for me to collapse yet, but sometimes I wonder, if I do, will there be anyone there to break my fall?

Spent a good 3 hours trying to get a message across to a dear friend. I hope the time was worth it, because I seriously do not have too much energy to baby-sit the mentality problem of newcomers at this crucial point.

I really need a good sleep, something I have not enjoyed for a while. It doesn’t seem I’ll be getting any soon, considering the fact that while juggling all this, I have to choose between accepting or denying an impending relationship.

Ugh… I feel nauseous.