After months of slacking and allowing my muscles to rot, I have finally found the determination to get back to an exercise schedule. Considering my current state of fitness, I’d say it’s a feat to have completed 5km without stopping, and somehow I still managed to do it in less than 30 minutes (25 minutes plus I think).

I have also come to realize, that in the presence of a certain cursed someone, all things will not go well. I am however amazed at how bad a proven system can turn out, even if this cursed being simply flashes by. Thankfully, the system is solid enough not to churn losses, but the demoralizing profits in the presence of this fella are truly a setback.

Then again, to take this event a step further, I’m still pretty much back to square one; unable to eradicate the randomness that resides like a parasite in this universe. I hate to think along the lines that everything is predestined and higher forces govern our lives like we control RPG characters. I despise even more the concept of NIL choice, where cause and effect is not within our control, and with tones of effort spent, that one might not get in return justifiable results.

And yet, all that has happened till now seems to render less and less meaning to life. The universe spins, steady and merciless, disregarding all human thought and action. By design, it may be hard to believe, considering that we are scientifically complex beings with sentient minds, but it seems we are here simply because we are; nothing more.

Once again, I’ve hit that dead-block. If not, maybe I’m trying to use a spade to dig through granite; a very foolish move indeed. Perhaps somewhere in the chain of civilization and development we made a mistake – snowballed into our shitty situation today, and all record of knowledge is like the flimsy spade, a totally inappropriate equipment to employ when digging granite tunnels.

Whatever the case, for now I’ll just enjoy the carefree life I have. At least I don’t have to worry about survival. Then again, even if I were to have to choose between survival or purpose, I believe I’d choose the later.