Looking back, it now seems apparent that everything truly happens for a reason, and that the universe unfolds itself in ways you never expect. This all encompassing wisdom may even be quite nice at times, putting your failed lessons of lief back in your face in different ways over and over again so that you may finally learn and overcome.
As I slowly crawl out of the emotional and psychological rut I put myself into a month back, I journeyed through varying intensities of hate, forgiveness, nonchalance, detachment, attachment, discovery, love, appreciation and perhaps a little enlightenment too.
For starters, you learn to appreciate those who stood silently by your side, in unconditional acceptance, breaking your fall should you need them to. They are family and friends, and while I have always given credit to friends, I have also consistently denied my family of it. Yet they are there. They may not help physically or financially, they may not even be able to give relevant advice, but they are there, and you know you are not alone.
You learn to forgive, for many logical reasons, one of which being that should you choose otherwise, that you shall inevitably end up in more agony. Of course, we tend to mix forgiveness and forgetting, for they seem to pretty much hold the same superficial healing effects. But I believe I am clear, that I have forgiven, but it does not mean I will allow myself to repeat the same mistakes, and therefore I will avoid their possible causes. Time will forget these things for me... I am, afterall, I pretty forgetful person, haha :)
You learn that there are always multiple options, and just because you have been so insistently pursuing one, you simply fail to notice the others waiting at the door you have slammed shut in denial. When you choose to open yourself up again, they starting flooding in like Harry Potter's owl mail for Hodwarts Enrolment. It's quite exhilarating...
You will also, through rational thought, discover what's missing in you, the resultant of your falls, and what's evidently abundant in you, that led to your successes. You sift out the good and discard the bad, and grow from within.
As as you grow, you shall soar higher, see more, broaden the sight and chart your way forth.
And when you take an occasional glance at what's transpired and what's left behind, you may even find it quite amusing, and definitely relieving.
