We've always been prone to labelling the differences of generations with what we call "an age gap". We youngsters camplain about how our folks can never come to terms with the coming of fashion and the riddance of unconstuctive asian traditions which serve no purpose whatsoever. In return, our folks get together in their "gathering of the golden years" to bitch about our sinful materialism and blatant contempt for many things.
I've always thought, or would like to think that I'll be able to click with both sides, since my age allows me to feign ignorance of matters and a cultish youngster rebellion in the face of my peers, while my tongue and brain, having gone through a humble but rough and good bit of practice and exposure, can tune into the bandwidth of the 50 to 60 year old lot (I am referring to corporate directors and entrepreneurs of considerable success).
I have come to realise otherwise... that I CANNOT spark a conversation with people of my age group. Basically something like that will transpire:
- Observe the common topics between these kids, and find that they do not cover anything beyond teenage fads, complaints about things they don't administer themselves, who is driving his dad's car and the car's brand, schoolwork...
- Become extremely turned off by the superficial nature of their conversation and brain
- Become even more turned off by their use of language (most Singaporean kids can't speak properly, listen and you might even find it amusing)
- Walk away shaking my head...
I can, surprisingly, (its getting increasingly better with each encounter), talk to the parents of these kids. Worst still, I am starting to enjoy the intellectual company of these people. Their jokes seem better, their charisma and aura seems more subtle yet stronger (like old wine, a chinese saying), and the topics seems broader (we can talk of variosu cultures, travels, business, policies, ideas, retirement, etc), and yet it all seems to come into a more down to earth tone.
The best part is, I will gladly allow some of these people to give me advice, simply because they are much more "there" than I am (at least on a material level), as opposed to those around me, most can afford even dining around with me for a week.
At this point, it may only be humility to admit that the same goes for me and these old folks (they are way way way way way richer than myself). I think 10% of their wealth would flatten me.
And so I have come to conclude that perhaps it is not so much of an age gap that tears the generations apart. We may quote two scenarios:
1) Put these successful retired aunties and uncles together with the normal 20 year old university kid. The kid will be eager to impress but eventual fail miserably simply because he hadn't got a story to tell.
2) Put a regular taxi uncle who is 60 with me on a cab. The taxi uncle would be eager to express his opinion on the recent restriction of smoking premises and how unfair the government is and on and on, and I would turn to my MP3 for some peace, simply because his opinion is no different from the other 20 year olds.
And so, what's that gap between people? It's understanding. It's experience, paths, ideals, personal stories, perspectives, principles and intensity. You don't grow old and automatically grow wise. Similarly, you may stay young, but run faster through life, be more receptive to the lessons that come by, and get "there" in half the time.
It's a mental gap, not age.
