It has finally come. I have stepped 1 hour into the worst time of the year, every year, without fail, for the last 8 years. The thought of CNY reeks a nauseating pulse whenever it flashes across this, perhaps very socially damaged brain of mine. I will not, however, bear the blame to this since it is really the abnormality of my family that caused such unbecoming symptoms.

To most kids, CNY should be about collecting HongBaos. I know I am speaking like a never-will-grow-up here, but that’s simply because I have NEVER received a HongBao in my life and be able to keep it without fearing the existence of a hidden agenda beneath the striking red "FU2".

All my god damn life the HongBaos I have received is supposed to be kept by my parents, or so they claim ever since I was a foolish little kid. At the age of 14, I guess, I started asking for the whereabouts of the money they so painstakingly kept for me, and the money, till today, goes unaccounted for. They have managed to come up with several lame but very dignified-sounding reasons to justify the loss of this money, which by today should have at least accumulated to thousands:

1) They are safe-keeping it for my future education (which really makes no sense at all since I do not have any more future education to look towards).

2) They are safe-keeping it for my wedding (which will never occur, I guess).

3) They actually deserve to keep the money, since they had to give Hongbaos to other kids too (This was a lousy confession during a heated argument).

I started keeping some of my HongBaos after 14, I guess, when i started my first part-time job and began contributing to family expenses. Thinking back and ironing the occurrences out, I can't believe my folks are such cheapskate bastards! They either keep all my HongBao money, or wrap 4 measly bucks for me only when I start giving them 100+ bucks a month! And I am stupid enough to allow myself to be short-changed all this while!!!

Never mind the money, I have long given up trying to discover their whereabouts. CNY, however, remains as meaningless at it has always been. CNY is the time of the year where every damn shop in town closes down, other than F&B chains, which I have never really fancied. It’s the time of the year where you are supposed to be spending time with your family and relatives, all huddled up in the warmth of festive greetings.

Sadly, I have NO FAMILY, and NO RELATIVES. My family is really just a technical term used to address a bunch of people who return to the same damn house every night to sleep, maybe yell at each other a bit before dozing off. My relatives are people I don't know, or would rather not know.

So at every this time of the year, I will find myself stuck at home with a bunch of idiots because I can't go anywhere else. I will have to face up to the pinnacle of human hypocrisy by offering wishes to those I would rather curse. I will have to wear the mask of bozo the clown to greet relatives I wish were good as dead, since their existence really don't make my day. I will have to find some stupid way to spend the money my folks gave in their "HongBaos-with-a-Secret-Agenda" back on them, and make it look ohh soo sincere, and I will have to bow to tradition and offer stinking incense to some wooden tablet, a lousy representative of my long deceased ancestor, whom I do not even know, and who does not know me, and who is supposed to bless me with a smooth path for the coming year because I put a plate of vegetarian food before that piece of wood with his / her name.

I HATE Chinese New Year. I will allow myself to sound like a stupid kid with uncontrollable tantrums for once, but I HATE CNY, and everything that has got to do with it.