Ahhh... I have not felt so accomplished for such a long time. I believe the last time I had an endorphine rush like this was sometime last year. This time however, the feeling did not originate from any monetary or reputatory based achievement, but from the simple act of finishing a song.

Early this year during a short trip to Yunnan, China, I decided to take up composing as a hobby. The first 10 songs were all really shitty I swear I would never sing them in my entire life in anywhere public. In fact they suck so much i wouldn't even sing them to myself when locked alone in a room.

Upon my return I bought some music recording and synthesizing program, and continued my crazy pursuit to compiling my own album (not for publicity or sale but just to prove a point to myself). The next 5 songs sounded good then, but looking back they were all horrible. ugh...

Then came one rainy afternoon, when I was accidentally taking a puff. The melody just flowed into my head and within an hour, both lyrics and melody were done. Then I thought it was a song worthy or some personal recognition, but what followed was even better, the songs basically just got better and better.

Though all seemed good, there was always one thing lacking, and quite frankly, it is "other people's recognition". From my 1st piece till my 24th piece, my family would always be passing comments on how certain elements were missing in the song, or that it was not original in style. (Fortunately and unfortunately, I was born to a family where all the guys are musically inclined).

Yesterday, I wrote my 25th piece. As I locked myself in the study doing the initial voice recording, I found myself constantly disturbed by abrupt phonecalls and message beeps, which got me so irritated that when I was reaching my last 2 lines and the door went knocking, immediately after the "stop" button was pressed, and without much thought whatsoever, I opened the door and started yelling at whoever was standing out there and disturbing the recording process.

Note: My whole family knows I am into this composing thinghy, so no one would knock on the door when I am heard singing from inside.

After some brainless ranting, I found my second brother standing at the door totally befuddled. He then blabbered out, "I thought you were singing along with the song..."

I was too pissed to catch anything from that line, so I continued ranting uncontrollably....

As i settled down, I apologised to my bro and then, as a flikering thought crossed my mind, I asked him, "You said you thought I was singing along with the song, does that mean you thought the song was some MP3 in the computer?"

"Yeah..." He answered in a passing manner.

At this point, I would like to clarify that my brother is one MP3 freak, and his music collection and knowledge of latest pop songs goes far and wide, even into the J and K-Pop markets. Her would normally be able to tell when I locked myself in the room, whether I was reconding my second rate songs or whether I was singing along with some recent pop collection.

BUT HE DIDN'T REALISE IT WAS ACTUALLY MY SONG!!!

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME MY SONG ACTUALLY BYPASSED ANYBODY'S JUDGEMENT!

there could not be a better compliment, since it was a compliment that wasn't even meant to be. I have finally sniffed the tunes that are within industry standards. Although what I may have now may not be the best, at least I know I am not so far away...