Today is just overwhelmingly exciting

The day started off with the usual drag of pulling your feet out of bed and head out of slumber land. Thank the high heavens for the dry weather, and the rest of the city dwellers for the intoxicatingly stuffy atmosphere and incessant traffic, I succeeded barely in getting out of bed. Just as I left the door, I had to thank the high heavens again, for cooling up the place with a few drops of morning drizzle.

The welcoming drizzle soon started to get on my nerves, as I stood by the road (Upper Serangoon Road), and tried frantically to get a cab. Time got by, 5mins, 10mins, 15mins, the taxis that appeared got less and less, while the H2O falling from the sky got more and more. In my desperation to get a cab before the rain turns me to the equivalent of that rapidly accumulating puddle by the walkway, I started racing up and down the road (the action was similar to the shuttle run sequence in BMT circuit trainings).

Apparently my queer movement patterns folded as a failed attempt to attract any taxi drivers (they probably did not want a lunatic passenger who might pull out a spoon to threaten them halfway thru the trip). It did, however, attracted an inquisitive passer-by, who came up and politely gestured for me to keep off the edge of the road. Well, the passer-by is, of course, Your Friendly Neighbourhood Policeman...

As Mr Policeman left, a thought struck my mind... the ancient, all effective formula for getting a cab. It has never failed me. It always works, always - Pull out a cigarette, light it, and start puffing.... puff..... 2 puffs.... "ahhhhhh...... look what we have here - a cab!!!" This is god's way of punishing those who smoke.

And so, I arrive at Tan Tock Seng Hospital, 5 minutes before my appointment. Luck was not so good, I didn't meet any hot interns as I did during the heart scan, nor did I have any young nurse waiting upon me. But I did get what I want - My Test Results; Positive Test Results for my Slip Disc! That means I can be downgraded at last, and not be posted to miserable OCS as a no-life instructor.

I return to camp... it is 1230 hrs

First thing that greets me - My boss is dressed like some gas delivery man, getting ready to go home!

I walk up the stairs - My Big Boss is dressed like Darth Vader, getting ready to leave for outer space!

I enter the office - There are 3 clerks, 3 out of the close to 20 clerks we have in the branch. Two were on internet, and one was struggling to learn C&C Generals - Zero Hour.

I sat in boredom for 3 hours, keying in my taxi claims and chasing some contractor for some commemorative polo tee.

I leave the office at 1500hrs...

I arrive at Tiong Bahru Plaza, to pick up my NDP pass from my friend, whom out of a purely magnimous gesture, decided to safe-keep my pass for me. He successfully persuaded me, after meeting up, that he should send me home, so that I may rest for 2 hours before going down to the Carnival@Marina... 5 mins... 10mins.... I succumb to his irresistible offer.

I reach home at 1900hrs... I GET THE SHOCK OF MY LIFE!

My brother is chatting away with 3 strangers. Two seem his age, so perhaps they are his classmates or something, but as I toggle my visual to the extreme left, I realise the old fat man can't possibly be his classmate. The answer came as intuitively as it should be, it's my fourth uncle and my two cousins, whom I have not met for a period i distinctively remember not to remember.

Ah it's so nice to meet up with relatives you have not met for donkey years, the grouchy little girl is now a blossoming cherry in some JC, and the quirky little boy now speaks in flat-pitch monotone.

The discussion soon diverges into 2 groups, with the kids talking about... errr... I don't remember paying attention to what they were talking about, and me and my uncle having a debate, no actually it was more like a one sided lecture, of entrepreneurship.

As all imposing old folks from Traditional, Hierarchical, CHINESE Families would start when it comes to such a topic: "Don't think of doing business lah! It was a stupid choice for you to forsake your university education! Do you think doing business is easy? I am a businessman myself, and do you know how many people fail to even get past startup? Why? Because they do not have a solid financial backing! Only people who have a solid financial backing can afford to pay the cost while the business slowly takes off. You young people just think making money is very easy!"

I nod and listen, occasionally trying to bring up some opinion in between the near-to-fits ranting of "Advice" my uncle had to hurl at me, and now, this is what I have to say:

1) "Don't think of doing business lah!"

I do not, and would not think of questioning the credibility of your advice, though from the tone and description of your sentences it seems that you have not met with a very smooth path in business, and probably got burnt a couple of times.

2) "It was a stupid choice for you to forsake your university education!"

Firstly, I did not say I would be forsaking my university education. I merely stopped pursuing a course that I deemed was not suitable, in my best interest. Secondly, I do not, and probably cannot fathom you trying to rate my intellectual decisiveness, simply because you are not close to half as smart as me, period.

3) "Do you think doing business is easy? I am a businessman myself, and do you know how many people fail to even get past startup?"

I never said that the founding of any business entity, and the journey to substantial profitability and market share would be easy, so do not try to put words in my mouth. And I am well aware of the statistical figures - 95% of startups do not make it to 3 years, and only 2/5 of the remaining actually see it to considerable success.

But allow me to ask - why rate your success possibility on the statistics? This is not gambling, and certainly it is not by chance the high flyers made it big. If you start a business and leave it totally to market forces to determine when you will hit critical mass, I'm afraid that you will be greatly disappointed, for the answer is never.

Simply put, if you do not take responsibility for the success and failure of your business, you will never be in control of the situation, thus leaving yourself at the receiving end of cause and effect, which is mostly, also the losing end.

4) “Because they do not have a solid financial backing! Only people who have a solid financial backing can afford to pay the cost while the business slowly takes off.”

WRONG! If a business concept has to depend solely on a solid financial backing to withstand the test of time, I am sorry again, to have to tell you that, the eventual winner will be time.

If you start a business, and set aside a million dollars to bleed, you are not creating any new value, you are merely buying time, and when your funds eventually run out your business would fold.

5) “You young people just think making money is very easy!”

Please have the basic courtesy to not discriminate because of age. One may have lived 20 years but had made the effort to maximise the takeaways from every single experience, while another may have lived double the time but learnt nothing from all his past encounters.

Next, I am well aware making money is not easy, and have had my fair share of experiences and a vivid memory of my poorer days to remind me of that fact.

IN SUMMARY

Your claims and accusations to the concept of entrepreneurship are as groundless as your understanding of it all. You have failed terribly to impress me with your ego-ridden illustrations. And since business, to you, is no more than a gamble, I suggest you make your way to the nearest authorised dealer of Singapore Pools, and place a bet on 4D or TOTO.

In fact, you should place a minimal stake on both, and spend the rest of your wallet on getting Singapore Pools to announce the draw results later, since your idea of ultimate success is battling time.

I cannot persuade myself to take pity on your pathetic soul, the foul stench of ignorance it spills forth is much too nauseating.

May god be with you…