Babysitting on the Rock Wall
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
It has been a while since I last updated this blog. Was somehow too lazy to give the accounts of the rest of my Thailand Trip, though it was really a most enriching one. Between then and now, somehow the “kao-beh” mood slipped out of me and my peaceful little mind just couldn’t think of anything interesting, out of the box and totally wicked, not to mention the extremely inhuman schedules of the past weeks (somehow reminding me of the days when the lousy policy of half Saturdays still existed).
Anyways, back to addressing the title…
I believe most women who have entered motherhood have experienced coaxing children in various situations, from the hollering banshee on MRTs to the “I want to wee-wee” on peak hour bus rides. But I bet no mother, in the right mind, would have ever tried this – CHILD COAXING WHILE SUSPENDED HALFWAY UP A ROCK WALL!
Right now, I have the great honour of sharing my one such harrowing experience… and here’s how it went.
D-1 Day, 1530 hrs
My team received orders from higher HQ to select a child aged below 12, fit in mind, body and soul, and embark on the mission to capture a shot of the child on the rock wall, that is supposed to depict the theme “I Aspire”, which is to be used as one of the 4 brand images for NDP 2005.
Firstly, I really cannot be bothered about this NDP shit, cos whether you do it well or not, its not going to affect my pay. And fuck! What kind of creative direction is this?
Child on rock wall = I Aspire??? Let’s get this straight…
1) It does not make a lot of sense to aspire to be a rock climber, cos that’s not going to make you lots of money, and if you can’t get rich you can’t get to shag a lot of babes, and if that’s the case I see nothing inspirational about it.
2) Why must we always follow conventions, and have our motivational, inspirational doses come from some sports picture not so different from those you may find on a MILO Tin? Have we not come to realise that the age of manual labour is over, and we are now operating in a knowledge economy. Taking brawny displays as inspirational notes only bring us a step back into the days of coolies and women wearing red caps.
3) You can’t get a “MAT” to aspire, it just doesn’t work. You could try the theme “Relax one corner” on them though.
D-Day, 1000 hrs
Our team arrived at the rock wall of a certain junior college, of course with the little MAT toddler. His name was XXX-dick if I didn’t remember wrongly. This happens to remind me of another trend with MATs – They like to give really disgusting names to their children…
Ra-SHIT, sha-NINI… totally tasteless
D-Day, 1030 hrs
Our good friend, they guy in the picture below, started illustrating to us how good he was on the rock wall, and so we decided it would be good for him to help bring the kid to the top and hook him up (the kid can’t climb so we have to let him down from the top instead).
Little did we know, our good friend was really a wimp whose balls would shrink into the size of peas when he got on the rock wall, so the situation ended up like this…
D-Day, 1100 hrs
I told our wimpy friend to get off the wall and I took over the job. It was really not an easy one, cos the kid refused to get his bloody ass off the wall so much that I had to grab him, rappel down the wall, position him, and climb back up to take the picture.
D-Day, 1200 hrs
The picture is finally out!
Looks more like “I struggle” though… and anyways this picture was eventually discarded… Thank God.
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