Oh yes, it has been a long time since I got angry. Let’s make it clear first. There’s a distinct difference between getting angry and showing it, and here I refer to the internal emotional build-up of generally negative feelings.

I’ve been having this horrible cough, flu and fever ever since the 2 coconuts. I believe I have mentioned that episode before. Woke up this morning in a blurry state and guess what, I heard the most welcoming greeting a half-dead patient would ever expect to receive. The whole event went something like that…

The whole conversation was done in Mandarin and this is the best translation I can provide.

My Dad: “His relentless coughing is going to get the germs spreading and why is he moving around as if he is trying to pollute every corner of the house?”

Note – I merely moved from my bedroom to the living room for some ventilation.

(I was quite irritated but managed to somehow swallow it. But I somehow figured my folks weren’t too happy with my relentless coughing, so I thought I might as well get changed and head out for a stroll and some fresh air)

As I was leaving…

Me: “Hey, I’m going out and I don’t think I can join you guys for the dinner tonight in my infectious state”

My Dad: “Eh, if you are going to take my earlier comment personally, I can’t help it, cos what I stated was a fact”

Me: “Relax, I wasn’t taking it personally. But I thought there would be a little heartache if I remained. Anyways I need some fresh air”

My Dad: “You know it’s really your fault for not seeing a doctor? Your camp has a Medical Officer…”

Me: “Please understand that I have been posted to a new camp just a few days ago and it wouldn’t be vary nice for me to report sick during the first week, plus I have some important work to finish”

My Dad: “What’s wrong with reporting sick if you are sick. Nobody would suspect you are a ‘tuang king’, of course unless you really are…”

I was lost for words for a while, while thinking what the fuck he was trying to imply. Nevertheless, I chose to restrain that counterstatement that was already rapidly creeping up that throat of mine.

My Dad: “At least you could go see a private doctor or go to the polyclinic”

Me: “Private Docs are expensive and polyclinics will make the patient wait so long it probably worsens your condition at the end of the day”

My Dad: (shakes his head in disapproval, as if feeling I have totally wronged the polyclinics)

My Dad: “Well you know your cough disturbs your brother at night and if you see a doctor you might take 3 days to recover instead of 5, in that way we can all suffer less”

My Mum: “Well you could tell me what illness you have so that I could give you a prescription”

My Dad: “Yes, you can ask her”

My Mum: “Well it must be because of your smoking habits again. Remember there was a day when you did not smoke. Your lungs are now trying to clear the dirt out that’s why you are coughing…” (And she continues to act as if she is a doctor and starts to “professionally” describe the root of the problem)

I was getting really irritated already…

Me: “Mum, please stop pounding me with all this theory of yours. I’m not exactly so ill-informed that I will buy your smokescreen. Yes I did stop smoking for a day, but that was because I was too sick to smoke, and prior to that I was already coughing. The cough is due to the consumption of 2 Thai coconuts, which are cold in nature. As such my cough does not couple up with phlegm”

My Mum: “Well if you choose to mistake all my goodwill again….”

I was thinking: “Goodwill my ass. Who does not know your bronto-sized ego, taking every chance to show off that little bit of healthy lifestyle knowledge you learnt from god knows where, and then labelling all your intentions as goodwill, as if you were some saintly being who’s so divine it is always the other person who’s mistaken your oh so goodwill”

I thought I was only thinking, but no, I think I sputtered all that out while trying to suppress a horrible headache…

My Mum: (Trying to blink innocently) “I don’t know what is the meaning of divine…”

Me: “Oh come on” (You claim to read up so much on Christianity and you don’t? Total bollocks!)

My Mum: “I really don’t know… My English is not so good”

Damn I hate it when she somehow gets nibbed in an argument and uses this All Lamers Club evasion technique. It’s like…. Err… just pure LAME!

The “lecture” continued for about 10 minutes and my dad suddenly took out a box and started flipping for some Chinese prescription as if he was some ancient bomoh eager to find the correct item for a big time sales pitch.

My Dad: “Take this…” and careless dumps the bottle of I-don’t-know-what on the table.

I struggled in my mind whether or not to pick up the bottle or to just leave. In my perspective, this was how I saw the whole situation:

1) I know I’m sick and I really can’t help it. I haven’t asked for any care and concern whatsoever, but at the very least you needed not make comments slandering my presence as an intended attempt to engage in biomedical warfare against my own family.

2) I’m neither a tuang nor MC king, and please stop using outdated army terminology of YOUR era. Welcome to the 21st century!

3) When you are sick, both of you! You go wailing over the slightest headache and demand attention from everyone. Everyone tries to accommodate, we all function at near stealth mode, and nobody makes comments like “go do something about it so we may all suffer less”. Can’t you be a little more socially aware???

4) You give me all this crap in the morning for something not even my fault, and now that you throw a bottle of medicine on the table you expect me to crawl over and pick it up like a dog, then be all demure about it and act as if I was so gratified to have received a bottle of medicine from your majesty sir, fuck you!

I decided to again swallow my thoughts and say the following statement:

“Dad, I understand that you mean no harm saying all this and so do your actions. But if you were to look at things from my perspective, to take all this trashing from you early in the morning, then expecting me to just be silent about it and pick up the bottle is a little demeaning a treatment? I just hope you could once in a while see things from the point of view of others. I will take the medicine and I thank you for it”

Only half the statement was said. Whatever after “I just hope…” was drowned by his yelling: “YOU WOLF HEART DOG LUNG FELLA! IT IS THE WAY YOU TREAT MY KIND HEARTEDNESS! THIS IS WHAT I GET IN RETURN FOR MY CARE AND CONCERN! I TELL YOU NOW, I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING! YOU OWE ME!”

At this point I found myself slowly slipping out of control. I wasn’t sure anymore if it was just rage of pure hatred that filled every inch of my nerve system, but my half-dead body was suddenly filled with the energy as if I was awaiting the horn for a kayak race.

It was at this moment that my grandmother shot out from nowhere and tried to stop me, or I really wouldn’t know if it would all turn out into bloody New Year’s Eve. My dad did not seem to know how to shut up, and continued with his ranting, so I yelled back too, well at least some of the energy had to be released.

I remember saying something like “If you were me how would you feel!” and guess what? He replied: “but you’re sick and the germs are spreading and it is a FACT!”

I’d really like to answer: “That’s your problem. You only see facts. You never see the feelings of others”

I left the house subsequently…



Looking back at the incident brought me to a more analytical sate of mind, and while I was on my way home i related the incident to this taxi driver who sported the air’s not so different to that of my folks. He readily agreed to the fact that my dad was wrong, but said it is a CHINESE TRADITION that the junior family member would have to give in to the senior, as this is a form of respect, blah blah blah….

Most of my generation, those raised in the families who still cling on to this culture would be able to take to heart this situation, I believe.

The traditional Chinese belief dictates that the family has to follow a hierarchy based solely on seniority, and that regardless of reason, the senior has to be strictly obeyed. And if the senior were to be wrong and realises it, it is not his/her responsibility to remedy the situation, but the junior’s responsibility to and initiate conversation. The seniors mode of expressing that he was wrong would then be to accept the conversation.

Now personally, I think such culture is just plain BULLSHIT! Do not mistake me for one who despises his own culture, a western kid whatsoever. I can assure all readers here that not only do I have no problem blending into the Beijing population as one of them, I have a pretty decent understanding to Chinese history and tribal cultures.

Disagreeing with such culture is by no means a way of expressing contempt of the Chinese teachings. It is merely a logical deduction based on the era in which we all live and breathe today. This society now values meritocracy over seniority, and while we all still show our seniors the respect as a senior, this should not transpire into a means for them to override reason with their bloody age. It just doesn’t make any god damn sense!

People who continue to demand respect for their seniority are cowards clinging on to the scraps of a outdated tradition because should there some the day they have to live without it, they will perhaps realise they are nothing more that a bunch of unreasonable, uneducated, illogical fucks. God save these people of the past, and you better act fast, or I shall take pleasure in removing them entirely from existence.

The irrelevant should be discarded… Cheers