Aunties and Uncles, Please Gather...
Monday, October 31, 2005
Starting from 6pm today, by Mr Almighty's Grace I found myself skipping from one shitty situation top the next...
First things first, I had to rush home from my god-forsaken workplace, somewhere along Upper Jurong Road, and join the maddening traffic packed with the most ungracious drivers and black-smoke-puffing school buses, to get back home by 7pm ++. The worst part of the trip of definitely the part where I tried to cut through the school-bus queue at Boon Lay and Lake Side MRTs... I swear the smoke I inhaled would beat the tar amount found in my one month's serving of fags.
Thankfully I reached home alive, and in time to join my folks for some "old-time-buddy" gathering they organised at some unknown uncle's house. i think I have skipped such frivolous socialising for a few years, and feeling bad that my folks didn't have the chance to show their friends:
1) How much I have grown? (normally height is the first thing they talk about, "WAH! YOUR SON SOOO TALLL!!!")
2) What kind of education am I receiving? (I thought I could conveniently skip this topic since I am no longer in school, but my seemingly against-the-norm decision to quit uni seems to generate only more controversy and fatherly-lectures)
3) Which camp am I in? (Since they eventually found out I was a regular soldier... I pretty sure I was thoroughly interrogated by 8 out of 11 uncles on this topic, and of course they presumed I would be so very interesterd in their army stories, so I wasn't spared from that either)
30 minutes into the thing and I was already regretting my obliging presence. I seem to fit nowhere in the odd crowd of 50 year olds and 5 year olds.
The 50 year olds would plunk their asses on some chair and start rattling about irrelevant topics, and laughing at each others lame jokes in the most patronising way. It was difficult to join such a crowd...
The 5 year olds, on the other hand, where fighting for a wooden stick to whack the fake halloween pumpkin for candy. I will NEVER join that bunch of monkeys... The sight of 15 kids scrambling over spilt candy is simply repulsive.
Just as I settled on some orange juice in a peaceful corner beside an antique fan, this bog fat guy with a beer belly, mad scientist glasses and unruly moustache somes along, and starts to claim that he knows my boss and that he is some great man with great advice to give.
Without the least bit of consideration for my willingness to listen, he started to lecture me and a fellow school mate of mine (I was fortunate to have at least a canoeing junior in the midst of the greying crowd), on how our mentalities of protecting our interests with a slight play of politics is wrong, and how he was an honourable man who would never compromise his policies even at the cost of losing his friends / allies.
He then goes on about how I should plan my career path after I leave the forces, and that he has some fantastic lobang for me to become some security guard at a security firm set up by some retired LTC and a bunch of condemned WOs.
That seemed to be not enough a self introduction, and he had to go on about his fishing escapades. Oh how I wish I could grab a chair and grind his disgusting face with it. Maybe I should grab all the trash in the bags and ram them down his stinking throat. Of course he loves fishing, A PERSON LIKE HIM HAS NO FRIENDS! He can only talk to fish...
ugh...
***
Hometown Chicken Rice
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Ahhh... finally I get the chance to return to my howntown - The humble Serangoon Gardens. The place has prospered from 3 years ago, when I left my home in a lousy quarrel with my folks. KFC has closed down as the lazy boss refuses to open the outlet in the morning the Mac came in to rob the place of all business.
The old, very very worn down accessories store is still there, though I wonder to myself if the uncle, or should I say Ah Pek, is still alive...
The very good chicken rice is still very good, maybe only better. The stall has expanded to a restuarant taking up 2 units of the shophouses, and is raging with a crowd of chicken fanatics. The uncle still recognises me, so I got to cut queue and get a table for 6, even though it was only me and my friend...
Quite in an unexplained manner, my apettite exploded after the first piece of chicken... the meat was so soft I think the chicken must have never exercised in its entire life. The first bowl of rice didn't seem to help fill the requirement, so I went for one more, and one more, until the guy serving the rice gave me a weird look, as if telling me, "Eh order something else lah... don't just eat rice... its freaky!"
But the rice is just so good!
Nothing beats a good plate of Pow Sing Chicken Rice!
***
Imposing Health
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Today I was arrowed to go for a course on some ways in which we could promote a healthy lifestyle in our workplace. he fact that I had to pile my work up and go down to Tanglin for the course (all the way from Jurong West), was already a turn-off. In addition, the course conduct was done in the most irritating manner, and the lessons taught should not even be considered a lesson. At least on my own perception.
The follwoing are some points noted:
1) The course fails to realise that health / wellbeing, is more than just a physical state. It is the encompassing of Physical, Mental and Emotional Health, and if given the choice, I would add spiritual health too.
2) Everything the course taught us (They were supposed to teach us how to PROMOTE AND MARKET a healthy lifestyle), revolved around setting policies and rules within our workplace to FORCE other people into submissive compliance.
3) The topic then deviated to wholly focusing on stomping out smoking. I do not oppose the stand of non-smokers to try to get us to quit. I know they mean good and thus I am mostly not offended. We smokers, on the other hand, chould practice consideration to not smoke in the face of our non-smoker friends (unless of course the whole environment consist of smokers, like a club or something).
4) I realise at the end the course was no more than ramblings of a delusioned spawn of the imposing bureaucracy we have lived under ever since we got our pink IC. The course lost it focus after 2 minutes, and conveyed nothing more than messages of dictation and the rule of the iron fist.
For people who read this post, please do not waste your money to attend such courses. If you have already gone for one, do not practice what they preach, or your organisation will end up with another useless health programme and you will end up laughing stock.
***
Yeah... Book 2!
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Ahhh, the pleasure of keeping your promise to yourself. A month ago I signed up for the electone course, telling myself I will clear the first book in a month. It is finally done! Well, not that I should be really proud of it since its all pretty much old syllabus revised into new scripts (I have learnt them many years ago).
Must clear the next book by the end of the year...
Oh, and I logged on to friendster after a long time of inactivity to find that my OCS Wing sent me a testimonial, addressing me as "LTA(NS)". How I wish that was true...
***
Cause and Effect
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Today something really interesting happened, which pretty much enlightened me to the theory of cause and effect. I was tasked to visit a family of a certain unfortunate serviceman, to give them a periodical update of the investigations for the case. The session started off and ended within my prior expections.
I was yelled at, insulted, and basically had to put up with a lot of sneering. But that was all ok given the supposed emotional trauma that the family is undergoing. What leaves me perturbed, though, is the family's attempts, or rather, the siblings' attempts to find fault within an event, with numerous groudless claims hurled in a haphazard manner, while totally ignoring the true cause of the unfortunate incident, which was another event.
Though disheartening, I tried to detach myself emotionally, to gain greater insight of the underlying forces working intricately to weave such a situation. Here is my conclusion:
Family = Need for cash claims after departure of soul
Setting Laws = Creating a boudary to differentiate crime and courage.
Government Administration = Creation of hassle processes to restrict others
And the list goes on...
So basically if we take out the cause factors here we also effective eradicate all grounds upon which effect can take place.
Without a family, nobody would try to make a cash claim for the death of another.
Without laws, there will not be outlaws
Without a government, a country will still run, but frees itself from the administrative hassles of the bureaucratic chain of command.
Ahah! We have a solution right there!
***
To those who have given up...
Monday, October 17, 2005
Today I was supposed to convene some investigation for some case (classified so cannot state the details here, sorry). Then this weird 52 year old from a certain dept in my organisation that deals in security issues popped into my office looking for the chairman of the case I was investigating. Since Me Chairman was not around, I decided it was in diplomacy's best interest that I entertain our uninvited guest.
After giving him some crucial details to the case, the Chairman guy was still not here, I perhaps I felt bad to leave an old man loitering the camp compounds without a guide, so I took him to my office where we sat down for a little chat (since my boss wasn't around I made full use of the otherwise totally under-utilised sofas in his office room.
He started the conversation with the usual old-man-talk-to-young-punk attitude, "Which JC did you study in? SAJC? Oh, then which Uni will you be going to?"
"I quit Uni"
"Quit? WHY????"
And I go on to give a brief explanation of my circumstances and resultant considerations, which he didn't really seem to get.
He then went on, like all typical failures in life, about how he used to have dreams and even tried A FEW ways to get it done, but since it never worked out it is best and most logical to GIVE UP (those were the two words upon which he placed a large amount of emphasis).
That is perhaps the one underlying problem hindering the growth of entrepreneurship in the country. If you have parents preaching to the next generation about how they should GIVE UP after a few failed attempts, I think we are pretty much DOOMED to fail in whatever else we attempt, simply because the HOLY WORD - GIVE UP will come to mind as the divine guiding light to end all problems.
***
The Importance of Drawing Eggs
Saturday, October 15, 2005
For the past 2 days I've been struggling with getting a grasp on my new found interest - Creating Manga. Though many thanks to the AEP classes I took back in Sec School Days for grooming me in the theories of perspective and basic human anatomy, I still found it excruciatingly painful to get the face-shape right.
And then I start to recall the short story in my Primary 4 (or was it P5?) textbook, a story about how Leonardo Da Vinci's art teacher used to force him to draw eggs all the time, and the morale of the story being that eggs were the foundational curves for drawing a human face.
Oh... why didn't I take that infinitely wise piece of comment then? Now I can draw everything except the god-damn face, which is also the most important part of everything!
Must go market to buy eggs tomorrow!
***
No More Singing @ TL
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
TL actually refers to the "clubhouse" where I used to practice my vocals. Of course, there are many "clubhouses" built for various departments and branches of the huge umbrella organisation we all fall under.
However, I have come to realise the sad truth that resides within "clubhouses" funded by this organisation. It is no more than a place for people to clap enthusiatically at the performance of toads croaking.
The hypocrisy that perpetuates in that environment is both suffocating and repulsive. The following are a few examples of the no-so-approved-by-myself acts that we can observe occuring on a weekly basis:
- People will attend Happy Hours not to interact and have fun, but to suck up to whoever's more important there.
- When there is a need to pay for a happy hour session, those cheapskates who won't pay will turn up and try to sneak in.
- A overtly exaggerated resounding applause will be given to the Worst Croaking Toad, not out of encouragement or good spirit but simply for that fact that its a star-studded toad.
- You will always be able to spot a few turkeys strutting around in their ramblings about work processes, fervently hoping to impress upon their bosses the fiction that they are fully engaged workers (hint: and should be giving a promotion)
- And Lastly, also most importantly, there's wine, but where's the women?
Giving the abovementioned repelling factors, I shall promise myself not to ever sing, hopefully try to avoid ALL of such Not-So-Happy Hours.
***
The Poor shall donate to The Rich
The order has been passed, and it has been made COMPULSORY for the lesser paid in the organisation to each donate 23 dollars to purchase an expensive and not very useful PDA for the man with the highest pay in the organisation.
Seriously I have to admit that I AM bitching about the 23 bucks, not because its a huge amount, but because its a forced payment. If you want to say goodbye to your boss, please do not force upon those who have never interacted with him to each make themselves poorer by 10 plates to chicken rice worth.
Worse still, the gift bought was totally irrelevant to the departing boss, primarily because he already has a PDA. Please realise that a gift is meant to allow the receipient to remnicence on the days he spent working with the organisation. It should be personal and useful, NOT SNOB AND USELESS!
100 bucks spent on a good gift is better of than 23 bucks gone down the drain... assholes...
***
The More We Get Together...
Monday, October 10, 2005
Recently I noticed a vast change in the social etiquette of my vader boss. The old grouchy face now wears a constant smile (grin maybe), though of course he still fails to kick the habit of drifting, he is a much more pleasant being to hang around with.
Of course, nobody knows if it was all for show, since his family was around too, but I think he has found some inner peace at long last (drifting for so many years, hahaha).
He's played a good host and invited the office personnel involved in some major project earlier this year, renting the bowling alley and basically everybody had a good time. We also got to find out that vader boss is an X-BOX Freak! (Guess he gets the kick out of being able to swing his light saber again).
Anyways it was a fun and fruitful get-together at vader boss' place. Hope the office continues this fun culture after I leave (so that I may return to chap the fun and steal the food, hahahaha)
***
This is beyond the kicks of Karaoke
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Ahhh... I have not felt so accomplished for such a long time. I believe the last time I had an endorphine rush like this was sometime last year. This time however, the feeling did not originate from any monetary or reputatory based achievement, but from the simple act of finishing a song.
Let's take the story back in time a little to give the reader a better understanding...
Early this year during a short trip to Yunnan, China, I decided to take up composing as a hobby. The first 10 songs were all really shitty I swear I would never sing them in my entire life in anywhere public. In fact they suck so much i wouldn't even sing them to myself when locked alone in a room.
Upon my return I bought some music recording and synthesizing program, and continued my crazy pursuit to compiling my own album (not for publicity or sale but just to prove a point to myself). The next 5 songs sounded good then, but looking back they were all horrible. ugh...
Then came one rainy afternoon, when I was accidentally taking a puff. The melody just flowed into my head and within an hour, both lyrics and melody were done. Then I thought it was a song worthy or some personal recognition, but what followed was even better, the songs basically just got better and better.
Though all seemed good, there was always one thing lacking, and quite frankly, it is "other people's recognition". From my 1st piece till my 24th piece, my family would always be passing comments on how certain elements were missing in the song, or that it was not original in style. (Fortunately and unfortunately, I was born to a family where all the guys are musically inclined).
Yesterday, I wrote my 25th piece. As I locked myself in the study doing the initial voice recording, I found myself constantly disturbed by abrupt phonecalls and message beeps, which got me so irritated that when I was reaching my last 2 lines and the door went knocking, immediately after the "stop" button was pressed, and without much thought whatsoever, I opened the door and started yelling at whoever was standing out there and disturbing the recording process.
Note: My whole family knows I am into this composing thinghy, so no one would knock on the door when I am heard singing from inside.
After some brainless ranting, I found my second brother standing at the door totally befuddled. He then blabbered out, "I thought you were singing along with the song..."
I was too pissed to catch anything from that line, so I continued ranting uncontrollably....
As i settled down, I apologised to my bro and then, as a flikering thought crossed my mind, I asked him, "You said you thought I was singing along with the song, does that mean you thought the song was some MP3 in the computer?"
"Yeah..." He answered in a passing manner.
At this point, I would like to clarify that my brother is one MP3 freak, and his music collection and knowledge of latest pop songs goes far and wide, even into the J and K-Pop markets. Her would normally be able to tell when I locked myself in the room, whether I was reconding my second rate songs or whether I was singing along with some recent pop collection.
BUT HE DIDN'T REALISE IT WAS ACTUALLY MY SONG!!!
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME MY SONG ACTUALLY BYPASSED ANYBODY'S JUDGEMENT!
there could not be a better compliment, since it was a compliment that wasn't even meant to be. I have finally sniffed the tunes that are within industry standards. Although what I may have now may not be the best, at least I know I am not so far away...
***
Entrepreneurship in their 50s...
Today was a day that was neither here nor there. I woke up at about 10am and sat at my computer having breakfast and watching "A Lot Like Love", when my boss called to recall me back to office for some investigation case, of which I know nothing about.
As I arrive at my office, my Big Boss decides that he could settle the case himself, and thus I wasted a trip and 35 god-damn bucks travelling to and fro (Hougang to Jurong and Back!!!)
Having my saturday wasted from 12 to 4, I thought it would be pretty pointless to go anywhere or do anything, so I hung around in the office. Fortunately, I was entertained by this 52 year old colleague of mine, and his confessions of entrepreneurial passion, or if I woulod label correctly, "monetary passion".
He seems very much immersed in the idea that the China Market is a money tree (we call it Yao2 Qian2 Shu4 in Mandarin), and his proposed concept of business very muchy revolves around earning from the profit margin found between mainland imports and current market prices.
While I strongly applaud the entrepreneurial spirit he upholds, especially when he joins the ranks of pessimistic, dogmatic old farts we have here in our country, I treid to encourage him to take up a little "education" in the dealings of business (technicalities and rules of the game, mainly), before jumping in, especially if he were to jump in to the most lucrative but most volatile and unpredictable market of China.
I shall lend him a few starter books next week. Old man, welcome to the business world :)
***
Electone Again
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Its been 10 years since I played seriously on the Electone, the last time was in primary 6, that would be 1995. Damn I have forgotted every single note and chord, and all the signs and funny tadpoles on the script lok greek to me.
Nevertheless, thanks to the re-introduction by the teacher and some help from my brother, I managed to scrape through the first few songs. Thank god the teacher is older than me, I feel like an overgrown kid in the kindergarten like music school.
The worst thing was, I walked into the classroom and this little girl exclaimed to the teacher, in my face, "Wah I didn't know he is so old! He shouldn't be here right?". Man did I want to bury myself...
Oh well, having stopped for ten years, one would have to pay the price to relearn again...
***
Resource Wastage
Saturday, October 01, 2005
This week was a particularly busy one. No actually ever since NDP ended there hasn't really been a full break for my branch, cos shortly after NDP we were tasked with organising some Change of Command Parade, not forgetting the hassles of the routine ranking exercise and audit checks.
I totally cannot comprehend the rationale for organising such a thing as "Change of Command Parade". The end of a commander's tour in a unit should be marked by an event whereby the commander shows his gratitude to his surbordinates and co-workers, and a casual event would be fine.
Instead, what we witness here is thousands of dollars and 1 month of manpower (approximately the involvement of 500 people of differing wage scales), which totals to a staggering SGD 100,000++, spent purely to make two people's balls slightly bigger of a couple of hours.
While cost is already incomprehensible, the process of organisation is even more absurd. Some senior officers can get so afraid of getting their boss to bring a uniform to take a decent picture for the event, which is meant to honuor the boss, they scratch their heads and think of a hundred other methods, of which all are nothing more than a waste of other people's time. And in the end... The boss told them, "You should have told me to bring my uniform!"
I cannot fathom having to work a routine under such cowards.
***
Kitchen Cabinets
